In the past

We all have our share of things that happen in our lives, that are hard to explain or reason as to why they happen.

We have set-backs on the home front or at work, families split and go their separate ways, children leave home, we loose older members of our families and we can understand the reasons for that loss but when it comes to the loss of younger members of our families we tend to think in a different way. They should not part this life before we go and meet our maker, our children should out live us, it is not right that they go before they have experienced their dreams of what they want out of life.

In my case I have had to live with the loss of three of my children, two in tragic circumstances and one understandable.

The loss of my son Baden to suicide at the age of 31 was an event that even after 7 years I fail to understand the reason why he had to take his own life when there was a family around him that loved and was willing to help with the baggage that he felt he had to carry around with him on his own shoulders.

We could have helped but were not given the chance to understand the reasons why he did not wish to live and that is the reason why we as parents get so upset and pissed off when suicide happens to a family member.

I wrote this poem for Baden’s funeral and I feel it has a message for the young men and women out there who have a problem that they feel they have to carry alone. There is always help around you just need to ask.

ODE TO BADEN

by

Kevin L Fairbrother

Baden, Baden our best Mate

What gave you the right to decide your fate

You left this life much the same as you lived it

With guts, determination and strength

and gambled that you could win

…

Baden, you left us out and pissed us off

You made us mad and very sad and all so sorry

So sorry that you felt the need to exclude us

From all the troubles that you felt

Because Baden, we could have helped

…

Like a true gambler who gives nothing away

You broke even on this day

The baggage you carried and would not unload

So the troubled waters just flowed and flowed

…

The waters still now, the baggage all gone

Leaves us the question, did we do wrong

You have paid the price, there is no return

The best we can do for you now

Is reach the place you so desired

…

Pictures and memories is all we know have

We feel cheated that your smile we will never see

And all those happy times just memories

We hope you are happy where-ever you may-be

…

We will have a drink or two and reminisce of life with you

And contemplate our lives without you

Max your dog he howls, he misses you

And all your family shed tears  and grieve

…

The bush is silent the trees are safe

The axe and chainsaw there silent to

The wood pile will slowly dwindle

And the fire die just like you

…

Aka-Daka will see you off as you ride on

Ride on forever Bade as we will miss you heaps

With love and best wishes go you now

Rest in peace and sleep for-ever

I would like to think that the words above may help a troubled young man or women think about what they are contemplating as there is no return from death.

Our lives revolve around our heart and each and everyone of us only has a certain number of heart beats and anything that exasperates  the stress on our major organ will reduce that number of beats.

The loss of my son Darren through natural causes is a story of love and devotion by all of the family.

Darren was born with Downs Syndrome and lived a life that was filled with his love for others, a life that we could not fully understand because we as a family only experienced what we would see on the outside, never really getting the full understanding of what was going on in Darren’s mind and body.

It is a sad but beautiful story that I will write in coming days.